Last night at 8:30 was Earth Hour when everyone around the world was supposed to turn out their lights for one hour in order to raise awareness of the climate crisis.
But throughout the wingnut blogotubes, they decided to turn on all of their lights as a too-clever way of canceling out Earth Hour. Here's another wingnut who's offering a list of suggestions for how to go about doing this. Utterly brilliant suggestions like:
8. Burn tires
Smart! Your neighbors will enjoy the fumes and odor coming from your hillbilly bonfire.
24. Leave your oven open
And maybe climb in.
34. Turn on your air purifier
Yes. You're going to need it when your house fills with fumes, gasses and stink from your open oven and burning tires in the yard. Incidentally, if the air is so clean and unpolluted, why the air purifiers?
A couple of years ago, there was a website where you could pay to have a tree ripped out of the ground in order to cancel out the purchase of Carbon Offsets. I'm happy to report that the website no longer exists. Awww. I wonder why.
I have a few more suggestions for any wingnuts who might want to cancel out Earth Hour.
1. Just burn a stack of money.
2. Write a check for $100. Send directly to hostile Middle Eastern Islamic petro-governments. (Don't forget to dot your "i's" with little hearts.)
3. Fill up your SUV with gasoline. When your tank is full, proceed to fill up the passenger compartment, too.
4. Why only an hour? Leave all your shit on for a month! Enjoy your bills.
5. Buy a carton of smokes. Smoke all of them in your backyard while using your burning tires as the world's most awesome hillbilly lighter. When your hair and face accidentally catch fire, your burning flesh and hair will cause more delicious pollution! Once you're good and sick from the fumes and smoking an entire carton of cigarettes and, you know, burning your face, pass out on top of the burning tires.
Even if there wasn't any consensus on the causes and effects of the climate crisis (and there is), what's the point of counteracting Earth Hour? Take the science and environmentalism out of the equation and we still have a pretty serious energy crisis. Don't the wingnuts remember their ridiculous "drill baby drill" chant? That was a response to there being not enough affordable fuel to go around. But whatever -- crank up your utility bills if it'll make you happy, wingnuts. It's your money.
Think Progress: Rep. Shimkus: Capping CO2 emissions will take away too much ‘plant food from the atmosphere.’
Progress Illinois notes that earlier this week at a House Subcommittee on Energy and Environment, Rep. John Shimkus (R-IL) tried to argue that the United States doesn’t need a cap-and-trade system to limit CO2 emissions in the atmosphere. (In the past, he has called cap and trade “a shell game to hide the cost from the ultimate person who is going to pay.”) Here is Shimkus’s newest theory:
SHIMKUS: It’s plant food. … So if we decrease the use of carbon dioxide, are we not taking away plant food from the atmosphere? … So all our good intentions could be for naught. In fact, we could be doing just the opposite of what the people who want to save the world are saying.
Watch it:
Of course, as the National Wildlife Fund points out, the excessive burning of fossil fuels has not been good for Earth’s plant life at all. Matt Yglesias adds, “The point about our CO2 emissions is that the rate at which fossil fuel use puts new carbon into the atmosphere greatly exceeds the rate at which plants remove it. The aim is not to eliminate the CO2 from the atmosphere but to stabilize the amount of CO2, which means curtailing emissions to a level much closer to the rate at which plants consume it.”
- dday adds:
I've always wanted to use this line on Steve's site, and now it's appropriate: Shimkus did not appear to be kidding.Shimkus basically maps out a world where, prior to the Industrial Revolution, no plant life existed, because we hadn't yet set into motion mass production of their "food." In this scenario, plants actually sprung to life shortly after the invention of the Watt steam engine in the 18th century.
Now THAT'S a new one! Relentlessly stupid, sure, but new.
John Cole: The Palin PUMA PAC
This is awesome on so many levels:
A well-heeled personal injury lawyer, Coale has been a major Democratic donor. It was his suggestion that Palin create a PAC to pay for travel and avoid ethics complaints in Alaska.Coale told POLITICO he first met Palin during his wife’s taping of a September interview with the Alaska governor and explained that he was “extremely pissed off at the way Hillary was treated” and believed Palin was being subjected to the same “sexist” treatment. Coale ultimately endorsed McCain in the 2008 campaign.
“I’m just a friend of hers. I’m not on her staff and I’m not paid,” Coale insisted.
He said he and Palin “email back and forth about once a week.”
A bitter Hillary PUMA dead-ender, apparently unaware that she was treated so poorly that she was made Secretary of State, is one of the unintentional architects of the public food fight among the Wasilla wingnut’s staff. Not only do we now know that the Governor is taking bad advice from some random lawyer and his tv host (FAIR AND BALANCED, BITCHES!) wife, but now all the people in the GOP machine are losing faith in Palin. I’m sure that this story could get better, but it would need to involve rainbows and unicorns and talking dolphins.
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